I never thought it would actually get this close, but today we are but a weekend away from the United States government defaulting on its debts. Now normally I would rant about how ridiculously partisan and genuinely idiotic Congress has become. Somehow they've taken the most perfect form of democracy yet devised by a human society and rendered it completely ineffective. So instead I'm going to reflect on the single greatest man who ever set foot on the planet, President General Governor Senator Congressman Andrew Jackson. He dominated the politics of the first half of the 1800s and greatly advanced American democracy in many ways. And he did all that with more than one bullet lodged inside of him. When Andrew Jackson had a problem with his colleagues, he didn't send them an aggressive email, he'd threaten to hang them from the nearest tree (his vice president at that). That's why I propose an legislative act decreeing that as soon as the technology becomes available, we should reanimate the dead body of Andrew Jackson to keep Washington in line, so next July I don't have to turn on CNN everyday for a fucking month and hear that once again Congress has failed to do anything to promote the general welfare.
Kill People
Burn Shit
Fuck School
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